this is just to say

+i have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

[william carlos williams]


+a ransom note for the survival of your snacks

i ate all your granola bars
that right: all of them

they were pretty bangin’
and you were making me mad

pick up your phone next time

[laura wooley]


+this american life: act two


+and now for a game

dear readers: who are you? what do you eat for breakfast? do you hold your breath when you pass cemeteries? have you ever caught a fish?

you don’t even have to tell me your name, you can just answer my questions and this website will make one up for you. or, if you’re feeling fancy, you can get a taxi driver name, a british name, a pokemon name, a ninja name, or a triceratops name.

i have no words for this

"read a fucking book": notes from me to me

it's a well known fact that i--like a lot of other people--love lists. right now, i've got about 14 going. here's a sampling of items from my notes:

+smart start healthy heart

[list: go to the grocery store, please]

i woke up yesterday craving this stuff. do they even make it anymore?

+graveyard at 4th and pine

[list: summerrrr]

i think cemeteries are kind of awesome in a totally non-creepy [cause i'm terrified of almost everything] romantic sort of way. i found this one while i was walking around a few weeks ago, but i've got to go back because it was raining and too muddy to go in.

+read a fucking book

[list: things to do immediately]

even though it's summer so i've got no assigned reading and could get any book i could possibly want from my school's library, i haven't read anything for fun in ages.

+"you're still in the way that i move, when nobody's watching"

[list: nice words]

misheard lyrics from "stay awake" by lydia. i think the real words are "you're still in the way that i think nobody's watching" but i like mine better.

+save jon and kate's marriage

[list: summerrrr]

no explanation needed. someone needs to do it; it might as well be us.

+get a new wallet

[list: things to do immediately]

i did this! i made one! my old wallet must have been designed by a toddler or someone who only uses credit cards or something because it wasn't even big enough to hold dolla dolla bills.

speaking of wallets, check out my license photo. 2003 was such a sexy year.

+lipstick

[list: things to buy]

i don't remember writing this down, but it might be kind of fun to have.

+trading places by usher

[list: songs to learn]

the comedic value of being able to play this song on my guitar is out of control.

+bilingual edition of aura

[list: books]

i lazily picked this book for a project for my spanish class since it was my name minus one letter, but i ended up devouring it. it's told in second person and it's a ghost story that's sort of like beloved and it's beautiful.

i'm getting tired, i'm forgetting why

nothing is lonelier than living alone.

i like the contentment of coming home to a house with life in it. and maybe some love, too.

and i like the vulnerability that comes with budding familiarity, but i’ve got all the wrong kinds of uncertainty.

i’m watering my plants to see growth, eating to feel full.

everything breaks my heart and at the same time, nothing at all...at least not in the way i want it to. when i feel it all but can’t find the worth, i’ll remember just how small i am.

sometimes there’s safety in being so young. i want to be precocious forever, sassing grownups into taking me seriously.

do i really have to put up with being told to just relax when something’s not alright? isn’t that what they say when there’re so many of them? they’ll talk me down to themselves and to their friends and then to me.

i try so hard to get roughed up.

i fight back with words, but shudder realizing how real the frenzy can become. no one would beat up a kid. except, probably, another kid, a bigger one, you know?

there’s so little vindication in growing up to see the fights you thought we’d forget happen again.

i’m worried that all this loneliness is slowing me down. i’ll be prufrock minus the poetry, letting time bustle by without me.

my grandma said when you’re old, you can either be invisible or crazy. i’ll do anything to avoid more desolation. i’ve got to get out.

living in a house with windows that are glued shut is just a little too symbolic for my liking.