08 October 2012

Food, Glorious Food!

Quick. If you had to choose any one American TV show to export to the rest of the world, what would it be? Because I like to assume that the people who make their way to my blog are mostly sane (which, to be honest, isn't really a very good assumption), I'm guessing you wouldn't pick Man v. Food. And yet that's exactly what the five of us -- me, my two roommates, and their girlfriends -- spent yesterday morning watching while we ate our breakfast.

While we debated weather or not French toast and French fries are, in fact, a French export, someone pointed out how bad the Spanish are at marketing their food abroad. "Our food is so rich and varied," she said, "But when you say 'tortilla' anywhere else in the world, people only think about the Mexican version." A month or so ago, I would've disagreed. As we all know, the Spanish don't have a "rich and varied" diet so much as "1000 types of ham." But it turns out that I was wrong. Not only is ham not disgusting (we'll get to that in a minute), it's not the only thing to eat around these here parts. 

In an effort to impress my family and friends, I'm starting a catalogue of all the weirdo foods I've eaten since I got here. While I realize that not all the foods on this list are weird in most people's books, I need you to keep in mind that we're talking about me (this is my blog after all). In high school, my friend Lydia used to describe me as "the girl who only eats white food." I didn't eat chicken until I was 19. I once described eating pesto as "adventurous." So armed with that knowledge, onward ho.

Foods I've Eaten For The First Time Since September 24th

+Octopus
     previous aversion: Um, the suckers. 
     verdict: Octopods are really cool animals. I mean, the UK has named them "honorary vertebrates." That being said, they are not by any stretch of the imagination my new favorite food. Even when swimming in garlic butter, octopus still looks pretty much like octopus and feels like chewing a particularly dense balloon. 


+Ham
     previous aversion: Mostly because I delegate all animal products that aren't eggs, dairy, chicken breast, steak to the "strange and questionable meats" category. The fact that pig legs hang out with flies on the ceilings of almost every market, cafe, and bar in Spain did do much to help win me over.
     verdict: I can not tell a lie. As much as it makes me feel like a hypocrite, I have to admit that I like ham afterall. I forced myself to try it at a bar in The Middle of Nowhere, Redondela because turning down the 70-year-old barmaid's tapa seemed like bad form and kind of loved it. Instead of tasting like I expected (rotting un-kosher animal mystery innards), it was kind of just like eating salt. 

+Bacalao
     previous aversion: Seeing dozens of pounds of salted cod sit out for days at a time in a depanneur in Montreal. 
     verdict: Unlike our so-intelligent-we-might-as-well-pretend-that-they-have-a-backbone friend the octopus, cod are actual vertebrates. I was so hungry that by the time the food arrived, I didn't think to ask if the fish still had bones and took a massive bite before realizing that I was essentially eating fried bones held together by bits of fish flesh. Going to a restaurant and ordering something that takes work to eat seems counterintuitive to me, so if I get bacalao again, I'm going to get something that doesn't involve espinas. 

+Coffee
     previous aversion: The sheer terror and disgust that old men with coffee breath inspire in me. 
     verdict: I actually kind of dig it. Coffee in the U.S. comes in size big, huge and gargantuan and cost an ungodly amount of money; coffee here comes in a tiny little tea cup and costs around a dollar. My favorite cafe here gives you coffee, a croissant, and a shot of orange juice (it's like an after-coffee mint!) for 1.50€. 

+Squid
     previous aversion: Dissected these babies in 7th grade science and the hall smelled like them for a week afterward.
     verdict: Actually? Awesome. Like most food in Spain (e.g. shrimp with eyes, ham with toes, rabbits with ears), these guys showed up in full-on squid form. None of that namby-pamby fried calamari ring bullshit. My roommate showed me how to pull the cartilage out and squeeze lemon juice on it, and I was unstoppable.

+Carrot soup
     previous aversion: Unless it's a milkshake, I don't like to drink my food.
     verdict: Mehhhhh. It is, however, worth mentioning that I thought I was eating bunnies because my co-worker confused the worlds for "carrot" and "rabbit" and told me it was rabbit soup as he passed me a bowl. It wasn't until we were done eating and I asked why rabbit soup was orange that someone corrected him and I realized that it was only carrots. 

+Swordfish
     previous aversion: n/a. Never had the opportunity to try it.
     verdict: Just no. (N.B. I ate it in our school cafeteria, so I'll consider giving it another chance if someone wants to take me out on a fancy swordfish dinner date.)

+Turkey
     previous aversion: I don't know. Un-outgrown general childhood stubbornness?
     verdict: The turkey was in paella, so I just pretended like I was eating chicken and I didn't die. 

+Ham flavored potato chips
     previous aversion: Nothing about this combination sounds appetizing. 
     verdict: Again with the ham. I ate at least 1/3 of the bag; they are that good.

+A taco that was actually spicy in Spain
     previous aversion: n/a. I love hot things! The problem here is that Spain's idea of spicy is a -3 on the universal Thai/Indian restaurant scale of spiciness. 
     verdict: Yum. After being disappointed to find out that we were going to a soup restaurant for lunch, I was ecstatic to find out that they were having a special taco day on Friday. 

p.s. Foods I miss: red onions, black beans (paying 2.5€ just doesn't seem worth it), cilantro, corn (despite the fact that Galicia is like a mini-Ohio when it comes to corn farming), popcorn, peanut butter.

25 June 2012

Three by Three by Three

+ A timeline for this summer

      1. Past: After spending nearly 5 months attempting (and, surprisingly, succeeding) to turn myself into A Person Who Studies, I finally took the LSAT last Monday. It means a lot of things but mostly it means
            a. Freedom.
            b. ...Which is only partially mitigated by the prospect of waiting three weeks to get my score.
            c. I am one step closer to not being thrown upon the sea of life like a bean in a bikini. I have a grown up lady plan.


      2. Present: Life. Like really really good things that I've been looking forward to since the day my test first started creeping closer on the calendar. Por ejemplo:
            a. Pride, my favorite holiday (after all the holidays where I get to play games and eat food with my family).
            b. Roadtrip With Molly: The Remix. In which Molly, her 90-pound yellow labrador Orion, and I pile into her car and drive to the east coast with the help of 2 tablets of Benadryl hidden in peanut butter, Justin Timberlake, and cruise control.
            c. A-Camp, which I still struggle to find words about because my feelings are a little overwhelming and I'm out of practice with writing.

OG Roadtrip
      3. Future: And then, at some yet-to-be-determined point in the future, I'm moving to glorious España. So far I know exactly three things about what in the world I'm getting myself into, but if they're any indication at all of what it's going to be like, I'll be pleased as a peach.
            a. First of all, I'll be in Vigo, Galicia and (praise be to our lord baby Jesus) from what I hear, the fisherman types up there aren't quite as into jamón as the Polacos were. Unfortunately, that probably means I'll be dodging my fair share of pulpo there, but tentacles and suction cups are nothing compared to all that pig.
            b. In other food news, Galicia is known as the birthplace of my second-favorite pocket-shaped food: empanadas. They also serve a local cheese called tetilla and I figure any place that names their cheese after breasts is a place I want to be.
            c. Contrary to popular belief, the rain in Spain does not fall mainly in the plain; it falls in Galicia. Specifically, it falls in Fornelos de Montes, a village that has averaged over 160 inches of rain each year for a while now. Incidentally, Fornelos de Montes is also the village where I'll be teaching.

Disgusting.

+ My soundtrack for the last month or so

      1. Santigold: Of all the nights I've worked late, the one night I wasn't there was the night she came in. She was apparently lovely and gave tickets to my friends (including Andrew, the DJ/Back of House Specialist who saved my life a few nights ago when he solved the mystery of the song; by playing Santigold's new album while I was doing data transfers).
            a. Fame
            b. Freak Like Me
            c. Starstruck

Santigold by laurrrrita on Grooveshark

      2. James Vincent McMorrow: This guy's got a voice like butta and is calm and sexy like woah. Which I think can be a hard thing to do without the cheese.
            a. If I Had A Boat
            b. Down The Burning Ropes
            c. And If My Heart Should Somehow Stop

James Vincent McMorrow by laurrrrita on Grooveshark

      3. Shakira: Okay, so really Shakira's been my jam for the past 10 years, but the thought of moving has got me putting her on blast every day in an attempted to reabsorb Spanish.
            a. La Tortura
            b. Pies Descalzos, Suenos Blancos
            c. Gordita

Shakira by laurrrrita on Grooveshark

      + Honorable mentions go to Plan B (She Said), Snow Tha Product (Holy Shit), Chiddy Bang (Ray Charles), Florence and the Machine (Cosmic Love), The Weeknd (High For This), Fun (Some Nights), Robyn (Call Your Girlfriend), and Gyptian (Hold Yuh)

+ Summer reading club

      1. Science
            a. Roses are red/ violets are blue/ they both grow better/ with more CO2
            b. "More intriguing, if you turn a seedling (or a whole bunch of seedlings) upside down...the tips and roots of the plant will sense, 'Hey, I'm upside down,' and will wiggle their way to the right direction, doing a double U-turn"    
            c. "How many continents are there? Well, how many continents do you want there to be?"
      2. People
            a. "What is lost when a language goes silent?"
            b. "The images capture Hernandez in his personal transformation — as well as blurred lines between gay and Catholic cultures, lines he was not encouraged to cross as a child."
            c. "10. Talks loud and uses slang"
      3. Food
            a. Avocado pasta
            b. Vegetable Pitas with Cilantro Pesto
            c. Nutella Milkshakes

03 December 2010

On Culture and Offensive Language

If you've been to Spain or read anything I've had to say about it, you know that the Spanish have a special relationship with ham. In any predominantly Christian culture, taking the Lord's name is vain is not nice, but what happens when you have a Catholic country that is obsessed with pig products? I'll tell you what happens, you get a place where "Jesus Christ!" and "and a ham!" are equally offensive exclamations. When you look at how people insult each other, you see a lot about their values.



In Harry Potter, there's a scene where Ron calls Harry a loser and storms out. In the subtitles, he calls him inútil which is Spanish for "unhelpful." Just a few days ago, someone asked one of my teachers how to say "loser" in Spanish. She said there really isn't any translation, not because they don't have a word, but because winning and losing aren't important concepts in Spain (except when it comes to soccer). Calling a Spaniard a loser wouldn't make any sense to them; they'd just ask, "What did I lose?"

In America*, we're a capitalist society. Winning means success and losing means failure, laziness, and undesirability. Spain's socialist system means that helpfulness is more important than personal achievement.

Spain's socialism is visible on public transportation. While you have to swipe your ticket to enter the metro, the trams are set up so that it's up to you to validate your ticket once you're on board. In three months, I've never seen anyone come around to enforce the 50 Euro fine in place for unvalidated tickets, yet every single person who gets on the tram makes sure they pay for their ride. Half the signs at every stop encourage passengers to look out for the common good, saying "Valida tu título. Todos queremos un buen servicio," "Validate your ticket, we all want good service."

The other half of the signs have a more Big Brother feel.



"Validate your ticket, we're all watching you." Pros and cons to every system, right?

It seems like something that's culturally ingrained, but then I see people jump the turnstile to get on the metro. When I think about it, though, it's mostly at night and they're almost always drunk teenagers and young foreign tourists. People here take their three different recycling bags up to 10 blocks to put it into the right bins. 1st graders take themselves to school on the metro. Barcelona is a city without dog parks because dogs are trained so they don't need a leash. Responsibility is taken seriously so that life is easier for everyone.

In unrelated idiomatic expressions, if someone asks you on a date and you turn then down, you "give them the pumpkin."

*I know Harry Potter is a British book and movie, but if the number of advertisements I saw in the UK are any indication, competition is alive and well there too. That's nor to say that people in Spain don't compete or aren't driven, but it seems that after years of Franquimo, the culture is more willing to value diversity (meaning there's not one universally accepted continuum of success and failure) whether it's in the political structure of the autonomous communities and languages, rights for minority groups, or respect for jobs that are not as high-powered but necessary for the city to function.

29 November 2010

Cataluña: Bringing a Whole New Meaning to the Yule Log

Things I'm excited about
+Seeing my family
+Going to Bravo for Christmas Eve Dinner
+Having adequate cold-weather clothing
+Showering for longer than 30 seconds
+Playing cards
+My dog



Things I miss about home
+My grandma's Christmas party
+Our advent calendar
+Making cookies and buckeyes
+Getting a Christmas tree

But none of this [okay, some of it, but definitely not showering] compares to how in love I am with Cataluña's Christmas traditions. This is a land obsessed with 4 things: pigs, fire, olive oil, and poo. Christmas wouldn't be a real holiday without at least two of these things figuring into the celebrating somehow.

Maybe you've heard that instead of Santa Claus, the 3 Kings come on January 6th to deliver presents, but they aren't the only ones. On December 8thish, everyone pulls out their Tió de Nadal. He's a log with a face propped up on two sticks and he looks like this:



Terrifying. Every night until Christmas, kids bring him food (ham, probably) and drinks and cover him with a blanket to keep him comfy. When Christmas morning comes and he's nice and full, they sing "Caga tió!" which means "Poo, log!" and hit him with a stick so that he'll poo. According to Carme Bach, world's most adorable Catalán teacher, you can make the tió go faster if you light the sticks on fire first. When it's finally had enough abuse, the log then poos out candy and little presents for everybody.



Cute shit. Literally.

But wait, there's more! For all you skeptics out there who think that the Christmas story is just a little too good to be true, check out the Catalán nativity. It's exactly like a American nativity except for one extra guy: the caganer/pooer who's included to make the scene more realistic.



Should you choose to subscribe to Wikipedia's alternate theory that the caganer is only there for kids, you should take into consideration that in 2005 there was an outcry with the city didn't include him in the public nativity. Due to protests, he was included again in 2006.



p.s. Barcelona's not completely poo. They've got giant pasta Christmas lights all over the city which is more or less all I could ever want in a holiday decoration decoration.



p.p.s. DAD, I know you're reading this. Do not even think about telling Ian about the pooer or the log. He's getting one for Christmas, obvs.