09 January 2009

hang on, sloopy

ohio has a lot to offer--corn, homogeneity, tomato juice [the state drink], cows, cities that start with the letter c...  cincinnati, a world-renowned cultural metropolis, is home to the shaker museum [a religous group who [shockingly] died out a hundred years after they were founded because they didn't believe in procreation], a giant statue of jesus, 98 degrees, lots of sausage [i blame the germans], jerry springer, and is conveniently located near the creation museum.  

with so many options, i've obviously opted to hide out in my room most of the time i've been home, emerging every few days to eat a buckeye or go to the library. [the library here is fantastic, seriously.  they have everything your little heart could ever want and if they don't have it, they will buy it for you.  also, the girls who work there are occasionally cute and always nerdy, so i can impress them with my library-card-number-memorization skills.  4054550, bitches.]  

my friends who are home for christmas are hermits too, but sometimes we get adventurous and go out into the cold to spend qsbt* together.  all i've wanted to do is dance so i've been suggesting that we join the rest of civilization and learn the "single ladies" dance or find my friend isabella's "darren's dance grooves" tape but instead we've mostly just played the youtube game.  everyone who needs more dolla bills in their life knows that the best thing to do with your friends is play the youtube game.  you go to their house and show them videos that you like and they show you their favorites and even though you both realize how pathetic this is, no one has to pay money and so you're pretty happy.  isabella brought this genius video to my attention the other day while we were being poor together.

i come from a "not scrabble" family.  this is mostly because we prefer the smack of violence over intellect.  we have a talent for turning any nice family game into an argument and can make you feel inadequate and judged no matter what we're playing.  card games mean long, cruel stares at the player who takes longer than three seconds to play and scattergories usually results in yelling and someone going home mad.  

in other news, my dog is in heat [ew] and has to wear a diaper and my mum asked me the other day if i have penis envy.  t-minus 11 days until i get to go back to philadelphia, thank baby jesus.  

*qsbt = quality sober bonding time.  this one comes from my friend dani aka daniela aka donatello peepmichaelangelo aka petemike.  dani is also famous for being 14, emo, loving dolphins, stripes, and josh, and also being a secret gay.


Isabella said...

ze frank is a god.
ohio is hell.
your blog is the light at the end of the tunnel.

thanks for mentioning me, and introducing me to the lovely film we just watched. i might use our vintage podcast as a lullaby to put me to sleep again tonight.


laura said...

ohh woman you escaped.
YOUR blog is a light period. the blog.

riese said...

now that making people watch your favorite youtube videos has an official name, it feels slightly cooler than before. or less cool i can't decide.

there's a motorcycle hall of fame in ohio i've been forced to go to a few times. summer visits are better because i can ride The Beast.

keep on dancing

laura said...

i can HEAR kings island happening from my house in the summer. it's actually isabella's favorite place in the whole entire world.
not. [she worked there and wanted to gouge her eyes out every day.]